The Frozscottle Effect

In search of...

Saturdays and Sundays are mine. On Saturdays I wash my dirty clothes etc., buy grocery and other food stuffs from the hypermarkets and laze on my bed.

Lying on my side I play farmville on my laptop. In the afternoon I go for long walks. I love walking. As I walk down I watch men n women walking by holding hands - everyone more and less are in shape. They eat panipuri from the roadside - when young man eats, the woman waits upon, while the woman eats, the man stares as if the girl is eating rosogolla, love or lust, I don't understand...I passed by several panipuriwallas, beating temptation. Like a drunkard I thought I have resisted temptation. But the aroma of redchilli powder and tamarind and chat masala cannot be ignored for long. My mouth watered and I was involutarily standing in front of the panipuriwallah with my extended arm.

As I gulped down the fourth panipuri, I had an uncanny feeling of being watched. Yes, a woman's man gazed at my ease of gulping down panipuris. "Shameless man", said I, but he seemed not to hear, the wife seemed to be in a different world or perhaps used to his roving eye. Somehow I finished my 6th panipurri, and shelled out the 10 rupee note without a pinch as I have derived complete pleasure in drinking the arse-burning hot tamarind water...

I walked further down to the crossing and waited to cross the road. Turning to my left I caught the attention of a handsome traffic cop. He wore many badges, which told me he is higher authority and his Tamil twang told me he was from the South. I looked into his eyes, but he averted my gaze as if he had seen Petroneus. He looked at the guy next to me and informed us of opportunity to cross the road from the other side.

I crossed the road with the hunk standing next to me. The traffic cop was a sight indeed. I was lucky enough to spot him the second time. And then the third time, I was caught unaware by him as I crossed the road when the signal was green n he sent me back. He has the b**** indeed to send others back for crossing the road when the signal stood green with envy. He had actually caught the hand of a passer-by and led him back to our side for crossing the road when the signal was green.

I looked at my hands, none held mine...The thin girl next to me, who is perhaps a zero size and thank God she had long hair, otherwise how would people know she is a woman, also had a hefty guy drooling over her.

A friend had once told me, "You should have asked the cop for a date." I rued over the idea of asking him for a date. I have the boobs, but do I have the guts? A firebrand police officer like that would not even take a second to give me a tight slap and throw me inside the van and put me behind the bars.

The thought of a tight slap woke me up, my desire for a cup of coffee with him flew, I crossed the road faster than usual with the other impatient pedestrians...

Oye Amritsar in Bangalore

Singlehood and Sunday early morning are an okay-okay combination. Though you don't have any toes and arms following you, but you have to use ur own tired limbs to get things done. As there is nothing to do after getting up early, I turned to the other side trying to feel somewhat cozier to prolong the sleep but there comes the jerk, my big fat bums, "Ya I have got reasons to wake up early". I don need to shake it up like Shakira, cause mine move with every move.

I rushed upstairs in my nitesuit to fill my mug with tea. The only thing I like in this hostel is tea. The sun shone timidly outside. I got down the stairs slower, I was afraid that I would spill the tea, the hard-earned tea - you gotta climb two floors to drink tea. But I don grudge the stairs as my neighbours do. This is the only exercise I do in the whole day.

You know there is thinness in the air these days. Less oxygen in the air and everybody gotta look thin-tin, chic-shack just contrary to my generous bags of adipose tissues. The sisters next door are a sight. My arms are thicker than their thighs and they get the shock when I climb upstairs in my nightwear with the speed of a deer. Ya life is full of oxymorons cause things make you morons these days.

My bulk adds imagination to men I guess, and by now many of you must have gone to orkut or facebook to check how fat I look. Don't check, there is no greater pleasure than suspension of disbelief.

Now having gulped down two mugs of tea let me come to the point. You should know that Koramangla has a charm of its own. Its streets want you more than you can afford to grace them.

So, to kill my hunger, I walked down to Oye Amritsar in my wrap-around. I was cordially greeted, as a single woman usually receives that extra attention specially my types who has no pressure to be feminine with adequate feminine assets. I placed a slim order, but my bulk did not convince them. The attendant wanted to push in more stuff than my stomach can actually take in.

Food came... the masala papad looked pretty with chopped green leaves on it and with it I relished tandoori chicken under the shade of trees amidst the cool breeze against a backdrop of couples. After consuming two pieces of spicy chicken and one masala papad and one plain kulcha I washed my throat in Masala chhachh...I was houseful...I felt like lying down there itself with my former crush 'Wills Classic Milds'...The bill making a grand entry for one person was heart-rending and I have vowed on the spot that I am not eating out without friends anymore...

This place is great for families. Bring in your little devils to much the chicken legs while you guzzle beer and vodka. If you have a party to throw and you are guys/gals who drink and smoke and love tangy/spicy northie stuff...Oye Amritsar is all for you.

Bangalore's not so chic pet called Chikpet

Chikpet has nothing to do with anything that is chic, but all that you can like more is goods of better quality at lesser price...All my friends have told me that one can buy sarees and suits at an affordable price from Chikpet.

I don't shop much but I love window shopping...Shopping is an art and what I understand is people who have had romantic relationships converted to marriage are the best shoppers.

Shopping, romance etc. are all a matter of perceptions, reactions and actions...and let's not philosophise all that here.

I actually went to Chikpet with the purpose of seeing than buying...But those who actually went with me there were potential buyers and who wanted value for money...

One lady went on showing me a lot of stuff but I was not interested in any one of them. She was coaxing me a lot but I was not keen...Then there was another woman who was just observing us. She spread two sarees which caught my attention...and I finally zeroed on one and bought it. The potential buyers in quest of value for money did not show much keenness except one saree which they did not buy because they felt it was priced too high and they started bargaining in the "fixed rate shop" but the shopkeepers did not budge.

Then my friends made a big deal with the wholesalers who did not have products with price tag...This is where you need real bargaining skills. My friend bought four sets at a price she wanted...While I finished choosing mine, I counted every minute for her to finish.

She was surrounded by a variety and it was tough selecting from the impressive colours that shone around. She said she would only pay 250 for each and then she bought a third one for which the shopkeeper charged 290. She gave the third back and left. Soon the shopkeeper called her back and she picked it up again at 250.

As we walked down, we overheard the shopkeepers saying "we shud not have reduced for the first set itself". They regretted the reduction in margin of the profit they incurred had they dealt otherwise.

Not being a hard-bargainer, I ended up buying two sets, each for 550 without receiving any discount in price.

Now coming back to the shopkeeper brothers, who are originally from Rajasthan, could speak all the south Indian languages. One brother had the attractive skin colour, which is a typically south Asian aspiration, and was actually doing the talking, while the brother with the serious look watched.

Now having made such a small unattractive profit the attractive brother said "you should not lose a customer" but the serious brother was not convinced.

Similarly is the game of love. You fall in love, play games and hook the guy/gal or sleep with him/her and then regret...The insecurity of losing him/her, makes you love him/her more and then entrapped in love and the fear of not getting another you settle down with the deal you have at hand and tell yourself it better than not getting anyone at all (LoL).